Men are from Mars,women are from Penis? & I officially reconfirmed my fear of the dentist.

Since I'm writing about the testosterone that radiates from my man-child from birth ill make my font blue,wouldn't want to insult his manhood lol. There's nothing you can do or say to convince me that Boys aren't born to be boys and that society molds them to have their manor-isms because mine was born doing this:

Yup everything revolves around it from birth til death if you're a male:)I was really nervous about having a boy because I knew I'd know how to raise little girls cause I was one!(last I checked I'm not anymore) But a boy I thought would be a whole other ball game,it is but not really because I've been with my husband for 10 years & all males (sorry ahead of time for the stereotyping (no I'm not) Eat lots,most don't gain weight,(pisses me off) I'm really happy for them.

Love to look at pretty women (no kidding that's what little buddy does when were out & about)

(in the above examples he is flirting,there is nothing we could have done to teach him to do that,it just came naturally) And keep their mother's safe! Which brings me to my next point, THE DENTIST! (and keep his mother safe is exactly what little buddy did.)

I'm really glad the girls weren't there though cause I don't wan't them afraid to go and I was crying like a church on Monday. I don't know where this fear started but there is valid reason for it!
REASON A.

Yes, I took a picture of the tools,It was to be used as evidence in case that was my last day to live.
Reason B.

Im gonna squish you like a bug!

WHY HOW OH WHY DO KIDS HAVE TO BE SO MEAN!? GRRRRR I'm so angry I wish I could be 8 (no 10 so I'd be bigger) for 5 minutes to kick some ass on Chloe's behalf then go back to being her mommy and stick my tongue out at them while they cry home to their mommy!
I know I sound like I'm being juvenile about her getting picked on BUT it's my job to defend her and I go above and beyond to make sure she has stylish clothes & her hairs always cute just to avoid this so she can focus on her edjumacation!
It happened to me when I was a little kid and boy it stunk! I was either called Miss Piggy or just ran away from when I came to sit with people,which is exactly what happened to my Punkin today >:(

I remember my mom playing with my hair & telling me the other kids were jealous & kids are just mean & that their opinions didn't matter. I didn't care it still hurt feeling like something was wrong with me.Praise the LORD there's just two more days of school because it's taking everything in me not to go down there and tell those big bad 8 yr. olds what I think of them! (hey cut me slack it's my instinct.)
I picked her up and she was sobbing because of a rumor that was spread as to why she missed a couple days of school and she had hid in the nurses office the remainder of the day,flashbacks.If only I could have understood that what my mom said when it was happening to me was true.If only i knew the magic words to take her pain away.If only i could put a sign on those kids backs that says "kick me."

HOW could anyone be mean to her?!
Also, If you wanna make my kids laugh really hard serve them a yummy bowl of nutritious Booty Cereal for their first meal of the day.that what they call it,it looks like booty.they can't eat it cause they think its too funny.so do I.

The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.

Keep on learning,Our Sadie & Hannah,
Though your graduation's done;
Your whole life's an education
That has only just begun.Your diploma is the first big step,
For knowledge is the special key
To winning what you want in life
And being who you want to be.If you'll always be a student,
You'll find the secrets to success
And travel on the golden road

To peace and happiness.

What Is it about major milestones that make us realize we're THAT much closer to not having our little people under our protection anymore? That much closer to them being on their own,sad:( but then again,it also means we're doing something right as parents when they achieve something,when they achieve things we worked so hard to teach them to do and it's one more thing to give me that conformation that I have to be doing something right!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”

Okay okay I know I'm acting like they just graduated collage or something but you don't understand,they weren't supposed to live,they were born almost two months early,I had post-partom and such a hard time taking care of my little snicker-doodles all by myself while Wes worked,so hard,and here they are smart,cute,funny,ALIVE,HAVING A CHILDHOOD,confident,happy,and to me that's more then enough to celebrate! Sooooo tonight,we're having chicken wings,I bought them roses & a cake and we are celebrating My Sadie & Hannah having a life,graduating Kindergarten,I love you babies <3

“Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

OH and previously how I said 'boys love to make messes' I try soooo hard to keep him cleaned up ESPECIALLY when we go out places,but things like this never stop happening:

Patient: 'It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.' Dentist: 'I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.'

Oh Joy Oh bliss,how I love the dentist, I have a very nice dentists office though with some very high tech equipment,I took a picture of one of the fancy things they have there to show you guys tho!

Don't be perverted! I know that wasn't the first thing that came to my mind.... ANYWAY,I couldn't go to my regular dentist for my tooth ache because he wasn't feeling well and I was in a lot of pain :( and I saw my dentist not that long ago and he said I may need my wisdom teeth pulled and a filling on one tooth other then that,I'm good for now! Funny how I go to someone else and all of a sudden I need 7,800.00 in work ASAP,Is it me or are some dentists like used car salesmen? I also have a major fear of dentists,my whole family does so when she told me I needed implants and veneers and root canals,and to pretty much rearrange my whole MOUTH and criticized my smile (when my hubby likes my smile just fine) I ran not walked outta that place!

SOOOO I'm still in pain & praying my dentist gets better soon :) can't take care of other people if you don't take care of yourself!
ALSO:
WES LOOKS REALLY HOT WHEN HE PLAYS CATCH WITH ME:)

AND Chloe makes really cool stuff outta sand that she challenges herself to make under 30 seconds,

And Caleb's NUTS if he thinks this will happen while he lives under MY roof.

Happy Tuesday!

Sunday's are fundayz

Today I decided to enjoy the little things,because really,they aren't so little. Essentially they're memories that're gonna mold my babes personalities :) The one really disturbing thing that happened was my girls holding and petting a tarantula like it was a hamster,and Wes laughing cause I was crying about it,not funny dude.imagine tiny fragile hands with a super-sized creepy crawling death trap engulfing them,really bothered me. Chloe wants one.

we went shopping and to print the family pictures we had done last week,they turned out AWESOME!

THOSE ARE A COUPLE of my favorite,there are many more with my mom,brother & sisters but those can be for another blog :) thank you Adena best photographer EVER.
also while we were on our Krazy Kramer frequent Walmart adventure,I discovered the new diapers,jean diapers,which are super cute but are they the latest baby trend or an excuse to let your kid run around in a diaper & not dress them?

I recently decided to see if I had a green thumb cause I love lilies and snapdragons & Morning Glory's and I thought it'd be cool for the girls to learn how to take care of flowers,i haven't killed them yet and I'm really proud,maybe I can have a garden soon!

Boys are born to drive,

And play video games,

and MAKE MESSES CAUSE THEY THINK It's Fun,

Happy Sunday,and for those of you with little ones in school enjoy the LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL!

One last year of sight

I found out tonight that a close friend of the family has been diagnosed with an incureable eye disease where she will go blind in about a year If God doesn't heal her. PLEASE pray for her. This however cause me to really wonder the things i'd wanna see if I knew I had one more year of my life with the gift of sight. There's no way to prepare for this but I'm sure it's a blessing to know ahead of time.while I thought on this I concluded that I would not be able to take my eyes off my children,probably start homeschooling them,they'd probably get sick of me staring,but If I could handle taking my eyes off of them There are places I'd have to see myself and take them to see so I could see their faces light up! As if I don't already I'd have to see their faces on Christmas morning like once a month or watch them sleep. Memorize each smile,freckle,expression.

The way the kids grandparents look at them.

my wedding ring (my favorite piece of property for eternity.)

My family,the ones that have always been there and always will just because they want to.

My puppies,my loyal children that cuddle & never talk back,

my friends,beautiful,understanding,patient friends.

REALLLY REALLY MY HUSBANDS ADORABLE FACE AND THE WAY THAT ADORABLE FACE HAS LOOKED AT ME FOR TEN YEARS BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW ANNOYING I'VE BEEN OR WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH OR HOW FAT I WAS

that face has always looked at me the same and I think it always will and I would miss that too much.the thought breaks my heart and is making me look at the world with new eyes,you know were here for you Crystal. I hope this makes everyone count the blessing of sight Cause you never know when it could go away.I know it made me.

people really bedazzle the vajayjay?

No seriously people really do that...like there's a company that make's mula putting jewels on a ladies muffin!!!! BUT WHY?! I can't do a whole blog on this subject,that would just be weird but I have to bring up the bling on the personal thing. I just got the article read to me by my best friend Tasha from her latest Cosmo magazine,and realistically you can bedazzle a banana and make it pretty but is any man (or woman) gonna stare when they're getting hot and bothered at your goodies and think "my what a pretty rhinestone butterfly, where'd you get your work done?" NOOOO The only reason I can think of that this would make sense if if you're doin' a photoshoot for Playboy or something,right??? I personally don't want gemstones falling out of my bikini into the pool hmmmm....opinions??

On another note, I would never do the show Wife Swap,not because I mind being in another woman's shoes but because I'm not mean enough to put another woman in mine (please understand I love love love my family and life,they're my obsession & I'm REALLY proud of them,it's just really hard being me!) I don't remember the last movie I saw in a theater(i will soon because i'm NOT missing Eclipse) and I have to really plan ahead for things like laundry and showers, everything is on a schedule & if my schedule gets messed up it throws my whole flow off,any mom with lotsa kids can attest to that
,this came up because Tasha said she wished she could see what it was like to be in my shoes for a few days and I told her no. lol BUT since im constantly trying to be a Glass-half-full kinda girl & I know that I could be a polygamist and have 75 & counting children and I'm really super uber lucky they are all healthy smart loving beautiful spawn of Mel & Wes <3 hope everyone had a great day ...P.S. i'M SURE YOU CAN TELL I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH NATASHA WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS CAUSE OUR CONVO ACTUALLY HELPED CLEAR MY WRITERS BLOCK A LITTLE! THANKS TASHIE

Not gonna air my dirty laundry today!

So take into consideration when you pay a little one to do your chores that they're gonna do it their way not yours. I'm so glad I wasn't feeling well and decided to take advantage of the fact that my 8 yr. old was bored last night and bat my eyelashes and say,"sweet Chloe I will pay you if you hang up all the clothes in the washing machine to dry" That little pumpkin said "SURE MOM!" and went in the laundry room,closed the door and disappeared for what seemed hours but i knew she was listening to her CD player & singing and having a nice peaceful time.It wasn't til she went to bed when i saw the very accurate job she had done! (and thank God she was sleeping because I was laughing so hard I cried and I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings or make her think she didn't do a good job cause she did)


she did exactly what I told her to.

HAVE A NICE DAY!

I wish I was a hermaphrodite octopus!

There seriously is truth behind the title of this blog as ridiculous as it seems. Here would be the benefits to being a hermaphrodite octopus! (this statement isn't meant to insult any hermaphrodite octopus' rather state that i'm jealous so if the term is politically incorrect or insults any hermaphrodite octopus' I apologize in advance)
A. I could change diapers,talk on the phone to Wes,cook,help with homework & kiss boo boos all at once!
B. I could relate to the different sexes in my household because sometimes i really don't understand my son like when he has his hand in his pants or is using his sisters legs as a hot-wheels track or playing the drums with my shoes on the coffee table...the girls didn't do that stuff and i think if i understood him i could occupy him better! (any suggestions towards understanding & entertaining a toddler male is appreciated.)
C.I could still relate to the females in my house while multi-tasking because i would be half male half female.

OUTTA THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Also on another note,I want to share some of the precious,witty or silly things my children say and also document them for when they get older so every once in awhile i'll blog about the mini Kramer quotes:)
Chloe: "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit." Meaning "GIRLS DON'T WHINE OR COMPLAIN IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE."genius.
"I'd rather share the Warm fuzzies then the cold prickles" Meaning,you catch more flies with honey then vinegar. Sadie:"Hannah,you care more about that bug then the bug cares about you!" Meaning,quit being a sissy,You're a million times it's size!" Hannah:"I would like to be your serpent your highnesty"Meaning"i would like to be your servant your majesty/highness" LOL I love them...tooooo much <3>

Taking it for the team!

I was sitting back this morning while Caleb played drums on my head and little drops of coffee spilled on my pajama pants,This observation DID NOT bother me and the fact that i wasn't bothered got me thinking,"Which point in time was it that I became so self sacrificing I FORGOT who I was?" and, "why don't I care? is it what's in my nature?" Then my little Mel hamster wheel really got spinning....WOW I DO A LOT OF STUFF I NEVER WOULDA DONE BEFORE KIDS!

EXAMPLE.A. Amusement Parks & Festivals: Ya I like doing that stuff and LOVE seeing my family have the time of their life but there's just one little hiccup,the kids usually have to be accompanied by an adult on the rides they wanna ride & that adult is usually mommy cause daddy thinks it's funny I'm such a chicken and I like to prove to him i can be a brave soldier just like my 8 yr.old even though inside my head I'm asking God to please not let this be my last day of life and please let me get off the ride in one piece.Gotta take it for the team & face my fears regularly. hehehehe

EXAMPLE B.Humiliation:For those of you who don't know my husbands whole side of the family are bowlers.seriously GOOD bowlers,just about all of em have been on a league at one point in time or another....my side of the family NOT SO MUCH,BUT I MARRIED SOMEONE WHO REALLY LIKES GOING TO DO IT and its an inexpensive way to entertain your kids in Vegas.I don't know if i have bad hand eye coordination or what but I'm REALLY REALLY GOOD AT GETTING GUTTER-BALLS!I even like to pretend i get them on purpose,however it's really embarrassing to suck so bad while my husband and his little mini meez get spares & strikes,I don't like bowling and bowling doesn't like me gotta take it for the team and embarrass myself regularly.

EXAMPLE C. I wanted to dress as Marylin Monroe but my little cuties wanted me to go with their theme,if they'd have wanted me to dress as a hot-dog I would have.WHY? Because something that seems so simple will give them a good childhood memory and put an extra sparkle in their eye...they're my whole world.I like sparkles in their eyes:) Gotta take one for the team and hope I'm not too old to dress as Marylin Monroe by the time I can.

EXAMPLE D. SLEEP IS OVER-RATED. In my house there's 6 birthdays,the tooth fairy will visit more times then i can count,family vacations,school plays & field trips & all the holidays,these provoke my little ones heart rates to go up so they can't fall or stay asleep.cute huh?right.when Santa does his job at 1 am & finishes whenever then Santa gets startled awake just a couple hours later by cuties hardly able to contain their joy...Santa ends up a little loopy at his/hers grandmas house for Christmas dinner.gotta take one for the team & forgo beauty rest before anything exciting for the next 18 yrs!
{Disclaimer.It probably sounds like i'm complaining,quite the opposite actually! i'm in awe about how much self sacrificing a parent does and a lot of it is done joyfully just for the sake of making your family happy}Hope you had a good day everyone :)